Like to Move It Move It

I recently hit the 23 week mark with my pregnancy and all leading up to the second trimester I waited to feel the baby move. Since learning I was pregnant, I've been on alert for any subtle change, any strange or unfamiliar feeling.

The foot that's lately been kicking me.

The thing about being pregnant is that you get stories from people all the time once they learn you are expecting. There are lots of books, magazines, Internet articles - all wealths of knowledge and input on what you should and shouldn't be feeling.  The problem with all of this is that if you've never felt something before then how do you truly know what you are feeling?

I've felt flutters, a quickening feeling, twinges, sharp bursts of not really pain but not comfortable things - and then, just yesterday, two undeniable kicks to the left side of my abdomen. Those happened early in the morning and made me smile. All the other little movements like the things I call drops, which I can best describe as a sensation similar to how your stomach feels when you come down a roller coaster, that sort of quick drop feeling or the twinges and tingles and such - whatever those are can be dismissed. But two quick kicks, that's a movement for real.

Regardless of how much of what I'm feeling is really my baby moving around or me wishing it to be so, I'm also discovering that this experience with Jack in my unique one. Yes, other mothers have felt similar movements, but only I have felt the way Jack moves around. And so only I can describe it. This is my experience alone. Wow. That's strangely a bittersweet realization. There's so much of this I want to share with G, with everyone who is going to love Jack. But with this, the best I can do is try to find the words to explain the feelings. And even then I know I'll fall short.

It's the moments like this, when I'm sitting in a crowded room or all alone, and then I feel him move. That little flutter, quick drop, or the kicks that make me realize how special all of this is. It's still overwhelming in the best possible way.

A Face to a Name

Good news - the pregnancy is proceeding as should. Bad news, or rather a downside to this is there's no need for the more than average, insurance accepted scans.

All this means that for most visits to my doctor we do the usual check-up of weight, height, and so forth and then listen to the baby's heartbeat through a fetal monitor. 

First trimester Baby Knight

Our first image of Jack was way back in August when we didn't even know more than there was a small heartbeat and a life forming. By the time the second trimester rolled around, we at least knew that he was a boy but still had no idea what he looked like as he developed. 

We saw Jack on a Tuesday in the afternoon. It was exciting to turn the corner into the tech room instead of going straight down the hall to the vitals room. Jokingly I asked G if he had a chair handy as I climbed on the exam table. Our tech room has a big monitor right across from the table for an easy view. G and I settled in and then there was the semi-cool jelly applied on my abdomen. G started out holding my hand, but as soon as the first images of our baby popped up on the screen he was on his feet and standing right below the monitor. 

And the first thing we saw - well, let's just say our baby quickly removed any doubt that he was indeed a boy. The image made us laugh and set the course of the exam off on a good note. The anatomy scan is just as it says - a chance for the tech to look over the baby and take measurements and such to make sure the baby is developing as should. 

Jack's tiny little face

As the scan proceeded, G and I watched in awe as a baby first seemed content to stay in one spot and he was probed over. We saw his heart beating and then the individual chambers of it. We watched the values opening and closing. It was fascinating. There in front of us was not only the outward image of our baby, but the insides of him. His little bones and developing brain. So amazing and surreal. 

After a few moments of being poked about, Jack did in fact get restless and started moving around. He started to roll and shift and draw up his legs and hands. We saw a perfect image of his little foot that looked just like those ink prints you see made of newborns' feet. 

The best part of the day was one of the last photos our tech captured of Jack. He rolled around for a bit but then started to settle back down. As he did, he drew up his hand toward his face. It's the sweetest image and a little glimpse of his forming personality. I look forward to seeing how much of those movements continue on after he is born. 

A little about morning sickness….

Being a first time mom, there are lots of things I don't know about being pregnant. I have wonderful friends who give me advice and talk me through the milestones of pregnancy, but it's always different when you go through the experience for yourself.

The first trimester wasn't as rough for me as I knew others have experienced. I've had relatives who were bedridden and unable to keep anything down for the longest times when they were pregnant. Thankfully, that was not something I dealt with on a daily basis. I had about a two week period of intense nausea at the beginning. I'd wake up and first thing be hit by a wave of "oh no this is not going to be good" and run to the bathroom or grab a nearby receptacle. I learned if I could get through the morning, usually by nibbling on crackers or fruit throughout the morning, I was usually fine by noon or so. 

Then one morning it wasn't so bad. Then no nausea. Just gone. And I thought, oh this is good. But I was wrong. From that point on I'd get sick at nothing. G loves to tell about how I simply walked down the hall going from one room to the next and then I was in the bathroom. One second perfectly fine, the next sick. It amazed him how quickly and out-of-nowhere it came on. Eventually those feelings faded, too. But the lingering fear that I'd be caught out unexpected did leave me with my guard up for a while. 

The one thing I've learned is that there is no clear line between trimesters. Just because a calendar says you have left one stage behind to enter another does not necessarily mean that your body is caught up with the change.

Second trimester came along and I'd hear things like "you should be feeling better now." and "it will be easier for a while." Mostly when I heard that I was in the thick of a new round of what I considered morning sickness that was actually hitting in the morning and making me dread waking up. Turns out it was just the wonders of slow digestion and acid reflux. 

Here's the second thing you learn about being pregnant - glossy truths. Basically there's the marketed image of pregnancy, which is all about the joys of becoming a mom. The smiling belly caressing women in magazines and on television commercials that sell you on how wonderful life is going to be for the next nine months. And the way your friends who are moms will gently pat you on the hand and smile and say, "it'll get better" to comfort you. Reality check - find the friends who will smile and pat but it's because they are breaking you into a harsh new reality. 

Pregnancy is hard. It's tiring, like bone tiring, and painful and gross and your body is going to do loads of things you never imagined possible. There will be smells and sounds and tastes that you are never going to want to experience again but sadly become common place. I tell you this not to be a downer or  complain about my own experience, but to just talk for a moment about the reality of it all. Because after figuring out the torture of acid reflux and how to handle it, after knowing that my body is going to start to ache and stretch and pull and know how to deal with it, and after deciding that somethings are just going to happen and so have supplies handy - pregnancy does have those amazing moments almost right out of a TV ad. 

At 22 weeks I'm told I should begin to feel Jackson moving. I have no idea what this means other than all that I've read and been described. I've heard it's like a flutter, like popcorn popping, like this or that. I feel a tightness now and again on my left side more than my right. I think that's maybe him stretching. I feel a sensation I describe as a drop, a bit like when you are on a roller coaster or a plane and you descend quickly. The feeling is not as extreme as that, but similar in the quickness of it. I've come to believe that is him moving around. 

All of these new sensations - the morning sickness, the highs and lows, the anxiety of waiting to feel him move - it all makes up this unique experience of mine. And regardless of the pain, discomfort and stretching that I endure, I know in the end it's all worth it. 

A New Knight

First posts aren't easy. How much do I say, what do I say…it's hard to get started. I'll just dive right in.

I wanted to start a blog as a way to track my first pregnancy so that family and friends around the world could read about what's going on, and I also wanted to have a space to talk about my family.

G and I are still technically newlyweds, at least that is if we get to be considered newlyweds until our second anniversary. We were married in May of 2013 and celebrated one year just a few months ago. In September 2013, we made a visit to the local humane shelter and came home with a sweet little puppy named Savannah.

At first, Savannah fit nicely in G's hands, but now she's up to 45lbs of mischief. But at just over a year old, we'd expect nothing less.

In July of this year, G and I found out Savannah isn't going to be the only small one pitter patting around the house.
At 36, I'm not an old mom, but I'm not one of those younger ones either. So I do have some concerns about being pregnant. I also have to take thyroid medicine daily, so there are some factors that make me wary about things.

However, soon after we learned about our new little one, we took a blood test that does genetic screening and found out that our baby is healthy and is going to be a boy. We're going to call him Jack.

So now starts the tale of Savannah and Jack, a dog and her boy. At present, I'm 14 weeks pregnant with Jack. I have a slight little bump and am starting to feel little flutters a few times during the day. G says that I likely rock Jack to sleep during the day when I move around and wake him up with I am sitting still. Possibly. I know that he has cycles of waking and sleeping and am trying to figure out if I can feel that yet.

The pregnancy books and such say Jack can hear my voice now, so I'm trying to talk to him more. It's strange in some ways, but in others it feels natural. I suppose this is all part of the bonding process.

I hope to share what I learn as a first time mom, as well as how we're adapting to going from two humans and a dog to a family of four. It's going to be an adventure for all of us, but I think we're more than up for it.