A little about morning sickness….

Being a first time mom, there are lots of things I don't know about being pregnant. I have wonderful friends who give me advice and talk me through the milestones of pregnancy, but it's always different when you go through the experience for yourself.

The first trimester wasn't as rough for me as I knew others have experienced. I've had relatives who were bedridden and unable to keep anything down for the longest times when they were pregnant. Thankfully, that was not something I dealt with on a daily basis. I had about a two week period of intense nausea at the beginning. I'd wake up and first thing be hit by a wave of "oh no this is not going to be good" and run to the bathroom or grab a nearby receptacle. I learned if I could get through the morning, usually by nibbling on crackers or fruit throughout the morning, I was usually fine by noon or so. 

Then one morning it wasn't so bad. Then no nausea. Just gone. And I thought, oh this is good. But I was wrong. From that point on I'd get sick at nothing. G loves to tell about how I simply walked down the hall going from one room to the next and then I was in the bathroom. One second perfectly fine, the next sick. It amazed him how quickly and out-of-nowhere it came on. Eventually those feelings faded, too. But the lingering fear that I'd be caught out unexpected did leave me with my guard up for a while. 

The one thing I've learned is that there is no clear line between trimesters. Just because a calendar says you have left one stage behind to enter another does not necessarily mean that your body is caught up with the change.

Second trimester came along and I'd hear things like "you should be feeling better now." and "it will be easier for a while." Mostly when I heard that I was in the thick of a new round of what I considered morning sickness that was actually hitting in the morning and making me dread waking up. Turns out it was just the wonders of slow digestion and acid reflux. 

Here's the second thing you learn about being pregnant - glossy truths. Basically there's the marketed image of pregnancy, which is all about the joys of becoming a mom. The smiling belly caressing women in magazines and on television commercials that sell you on how wonderful life is going to be for the next nine months. And the way your friends who are moms will gently pat you on the hand and smile and say, "it'll get better" to comfort you. Reality check - find the friends who will smile and pat but it's because they are breaking you into a harsh new reality. 

Pregnancy is hard. It's tiring, like bone tiring, and painful and gross and your body is going to do loads of things you never imagined possible. There will be smells and sounds and tastes that you are never going to want to experience again but sadly become common place. I tell you this not to be a downer or  complain about my own experience, but to just talk for a moment about the reality of it all. Because after figuring out the torture of acid reflux and how to handle it, after knowing that my body is going to start to ache and stretch and pull and know how to deal with it, and after deciding that somethings are just going to happen and so have supplies handy - pregnancy does have those amazing moments almost right out of a TV ad. 

At 22 weeks I'm told I should begin to feel Jackson moving. I have no idea what this means other than all that I've read and been described. I've heard it's like a flutter, like popcorn popping, like this or that. I feel a tightness now and again on my left side more than my right. I think that's maybe him stretching. I feel a sensation I describe as a drop, a bit like when you are on a roller coaster or a plane and you descend quickly. The feeling is not as extreme as that, but similar in the quickness of it. I've come to believe that is him moving around. 

All of these new sensations - the morning sickness, the highs and lows, the anxiety of waiting to feel him move - it all makes up this unique experience of mine. And regardless of the pain, discomfort and stretching that I endure, I know in the end it's all worth it. 

Fetal Heartbeat

Most who know me know of my longstanding fan-ship of Mary McDonnell. Yes, this does have to do with the baby's heartbeat. Just hang with me for a moment.

We found out that I was pregnant on July 21st. I know this because of an email I got on that date about Mary being at DragonCon, and I know that it was a Monday because Major Crimes (the show she stars on) was on. The things that help you remember things.

We first heard Jack's heartbeat on August 1st, almost two weeks later. It was a Friday. G met me at the doctor's office since it was during the day and I went there from work. It was our first visit to the OBGYN. I remember the nurse's name, because she instantly reminded me of our cousin, maybe a little shorter but with the same friendly disposition.

H led us into the ultrasound room and handed us over to another tech. She was friendly as well, but I have yet to remember her name. Anyway, she started the scan and sure enough, there was a small little blob with the cutest little fluttering heart. She then turned on the sound. I started laughing. G had to look for a seat.

First scan done on Aug. 1st. G said it looked like Puerto Rico.

He'd been standing beside me during the exam, holding my hand and being his usual charming self. That didn't change when the sound of Jack's heartbeat filled the room, but G did stammer a little and sit down. I can't blame him. It was overwhelming. However, I'd had two weeks of randomness going on within me from nausea to fatigue to running thoughts…so my time for giddiness was ready to explode at that moment. G had his giddy moment back on July 21st. It was nice to tease him some. Still is.

We haven't had a scan since August, but we have heard the heartbeat on each of other visits to the doctor. The second time Dr. H did the honors of finding the heartbeat. G felt better about it, saying he was a least warned before the rhythmic doppler woofer sound filled the room. Jack's heart was fast that day, leading the doc to joke it sounded like a girl. This, of course is before we knew about his Y chromosome.

Today was the 3rd day we heard Jack's heartbeat. 150 or so beats per minute. Still that sub-woofer booming out. It's the coolest sound I've ever heard.

A New Knight

First posts aren't easy. How much do I say, what do I say…it's hard to get started. I'll just dive right in.

I wanted to start a blog as a way to track my first pregnancy so that family and friends around the world could read about what's going on, and I also wanted to have a space to talk about my family.

G and I are still technically newlyweds, at least that is if we get to be considered newlyweds until our second anniversary. We were married in May of 2013 and celebrated one year just a few months ago. In September 2013, we made a visit to the local humane shelter and came home with a sweet little puppy named Savannah.

At first, Savannah fit nicely in G's hands, but now she's up to 45lbs of mischief. But at just over a year old, we'd expect nothing less.

In July of this year, G and I found out Savannah isn't going to be the only small one pitter patting around the house.
At 36, I'm not an old mom, but I'm not one of those younger ones either. So I do have some concerns about being pregnant. I also have to take thyroid medicine daily, so there are some factors that make me wary about things.

However, soon after we learned about our new little one, we took a blood test that does genetic screening and found out that our baby is healthy and is going to be a boy. We're going to call him Jack.

So now starts the tale of Savannah and Jack, a dog and her boy. At present, I'm 14 weeks pregnant with Jack. I have a slight little bump and am starting to feel little flutters a few times during the day. G says that I likely rock Jack to sleep during the day when I move around and wake him up with I am sitting still. Possibly. I know that he has cycles of waking and sleeping and am trying to figure out if I can feel that yet.

The pregnancy books and such say Jack can hear my voice now, so I'm trying to talk to him more. It's strange in some ways, but in others it feels natural. I suppose this is all part of the bonding process.

I hope to share what I learn as a first time mom, as well as how we're adapting to going from two humans and a dog to a family of four. It's going to be an adventure for all of us, but I think we're more than up for it.